December 2011
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2012.
One year. 366 days. 12 months. 52 weeks.
I lost 1.6 kg in the past 6 days & I weighed 52.0 kg this morning.
Imagine how much weight I could lose in 52 weeks. I could disappear. (If only.)
Let’s make 2012 a good year in some way, even if it’s just one.
2012 can be the year we reach our goal weight. We should at least try.
As cheesy as it sounds, we really can do it....
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Dear followers
Anonymous asked: I just wanted to let you know that this blog is in a weird but good way an inspiration, i think it's great and brave to be able to put yourself and what you do out there. I agree having an eating disorder sucks, i would know. But to try and make the most of it with out turning to hate over it, that says a lot. Take care of yourself, love. And stay beautiful.
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The downside of losing weight quickly is that you...
It’s kind of a problem I have.
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Just realized I've lost 1.6 kg in the past 6 days.
That’s kinda awesome.
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Just wanted to say thanks.
Since I got this blog, I’m kinda surprised how much it has helped.
I’ve only had it for 6 days, but it has already made me feel alot better.
I’m also kinda surprised about how much love I have for my followers. It’s kinda weird. But I like acctually do love you.
All 172 of you :3
So thank you. xx
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However
I am not wearing a dress & I didn’t brush my hair. So fosterparents can go fuck themselves.
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I failed.
Remember how I said I wasn’t gonna eat? I already ate a sandwich. And that was just the appetizer. I know I’ll eat more, even thought I don’t want to.
I’m such a pushover.
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Fostermom again.
“You’re gonna be part of this. My best friend is gonna be here. It’s New Years, god damn it! We’re not even gonna discuss this. You’re gonna partake. You can’t live with a family if you don’t know how to be part of a family. You can’t just go in your room & feel sorry for yourself. Do you know how many kids would want to be around tons of people...
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Fostermom:
“Why haven’t you gotten ready yet? My friends are coming over tonight. Don’t ruin this for me.”
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I plan to be a total & complete bitch to my...
Go fuck yourself.
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Technically fostermom walks into room...
“Now there’s no hot water for anyone else, I couldn’t even wash my hair. The next time I tell you to hurry up & not use all the hot water, I want you to do that.”
Me: “I tried to hurry up.”
“Then you’ll have to try to hurry up more, you can’t be in the shower for 40 minutes.”
Me: *sits there quietly while wanting to cry*
...
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Seeing you guys's supportive 'likes' on my weight...
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Lunch.
Awful. I didn’t eat ALOT, but I ate more than I wanted to & my stomach did start hurting.
Then I tried to make myself throw up, but I could only throw up a little & then my… I guess technically he’s my fosterdad, he started yelling at me about being in the shower for too long & how I was using up all the hot water, so I had to leave before they got suspicious. They...
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Omg omg omg...
Were you guys keeping your fingers crossed like I said? You must’ve been, cause it worked!
The scale said 52.0 kg. I didn’t gain, I acctually lost 0.4 kg!
I’m so happy right now, I can’t even… Thank you.
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I am so dreading stepping on the scale today.
I binged yesterday & I know it will be more than 52.4 kg even though I threw up. It always is.
I am desperate hoping it will at least be under 53 kg so it doesn’t all feel like a waste.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me! Here we go…
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Day 5: 163 followers!
Aww you guys… :’3
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Dinner.
Like I said, I’m not gonna lie about my meals.
I binged. Alot. I’m not even sure if I remember all the things I ate. Let’s try…
1 banana flavored laffy taffy
Vegan thai food (left overs)
Rice noodles (left overs, also) with soy sauce, ketchup & sunflower seeds (yes, disgusting)
4 slices of toast (3 with butter, 1 with blueberry jelly)
Some falafel, not sure how...
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Scale says 52.4 kg. 0.3 kg less than this morning!
Anonymous asked: I saw the pictures of you (at least your body) and honestly can not believe you are depriving yourself food and nutrition at your size. Hell at any size its not healthy. Exercise and diet work better than what you are doing to yourself. You could loose your teeth from purging, and it don't matter how little your jeans are if you are missing 4 front teeth. Not to mention the malnutrition could...
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desiretruecolors asked: I have a eating disorder & yes it suck... Your helping me :) thank you
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